Veggies Always Win: The Secret Life of a Vegetarian Activist

"Did we meet before?"

(Scene: Apartment, afternoon. YOU, Susan V., a famous Podcaster on dietary matters, stand by your kitchen counter, waiting for your food delivery to arrive.)

(A VOICE inside your head interrupts your thoughts.)

Voice: (mocking) How long do you think you can keep lying to the world?

(You sigh, trying to stay calm.)

You: You again? I’ve told you a thousand times: as long as it’s needed!

Voice: Is it really possible?

You: Yes. And before I’m unable to, I’ll find a way to spin it. My audience will stay on my side.

Voice: Really? You do seem to have a lot of confidence, but I know you don’t.

(You shake your head, trying to ignore the Voice. You pace around the room, your thoughts racing.)

You: I’ll tell them that my husband and I are planning to have a child. The family doctor says I can’t continue being a vegetarian for the health of my future kid. I’ll make it sound serious. They’ll understand, and they’ll support me. I know I can make it work.

Voice: Impressive. But are you going to get married?

You: I’m not against it. It’s just a piece of paper. Samuel is madly in love with me. He’s totally under my control.

Voice: Yes, perhaps… but not until he knows your other secrets. Your bigger secrets.

You: What do you mean?

Voice: You know exactly what I mean. But let’s save it for next time.

(You pause, staring into space.)

Voice: So, how are you going to convince them after your child is born?

You: I’ll breastfeed my baby. When that excuse runs out, I’ll already have a way to step down.

Voice: You really think your audience is that dumb, don’t you?

You: No. I just think they’re too emotional, and that makes them easy to deceive.

Voice: What if someone unemotional finds out?

You: No, I’ve been careful my whole life. I know how to hide secrets. Even from my parents, teachers, friends, boyfriends—everyone.

Voice: I don’t think you can be 24/7 careful throughout your life. Say the delivery boy comes upstairs and sees you—Susan K., the number one advocate for vegetables—ordering a triple cheeseburger, chicken nuggets, and snacks prepared with animal oil. How would you react?

You: No. Nothing like that would happen. I’m too smart for that. Not me.

Voice: I bet you’ll fail. Your secret will be exposed. We’ll see. Not even God, whom you never trust, could—

(Suddenly, the doorbell rings. The Voice falls silent.)

Voice: Talk next time. Now, open the door.

(Your smirk grows. You know what the Voice is trying to do—trick you into reacting. You quickly put on a face mask and sunglasses.)

You: Try again next time.

(You walk to the door, open it, and reveal a thin YOUNG MAN, barely in his 20s, standing on the other side. His lips are thin, and his face has a cunning expression. He’s holding a bag of food.)

Young Man: (eyeing you carefully) You know… you look awfully familiar. Did we meet before?

You: No, we haven’t.

(Without waiting for his response, you slam the door shut. The sound echoes in the empty hallway.)

(Posted on Threads on 30.12.2024)

#VegetarianActivistSecretLife